


To Find Comfort in the Pain

by rosarmio



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Comfort/Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Light Angst, Nonbinary Shinguji Korekiyo, Other, POV Third Person Limited, Shinguji Korekiyo-centric, Sweet Gokuhara Gonta, Trans Shinguji Korekiyo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-13 15:33:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29030976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosarmio/pseuds/rosarmio
Summary: There is not a day that goes by in which Korekiyo Shinguji is not in pain. Gonta Gokuhara cannot change this, but he can help Kiyo find comfort when they have none.
Relationships: Gokuhara Gonta/Shinguji Korekiyo
Comments: 9
Kudos: 47





	To Find Comfort in the Pain

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gonta_gokuhara_lover](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gonta_gokuhara_lover/gifts).



> written the narcoleptic love of my life

Everything Korekiyo Shinguji does feels like a tiresome chore. Absolutely everything, from waking up to getting dressed, let alone eating or showering. There isn’t a day that goes by where they don’t feel like collapsing when simply trying to walk to the bathroom.

Of course, being the reserved person they are, they say nothing about this to anyone.

‘It would do no good to burden anyone,’ They often reason to themself, ‘It would simply be easier to cope with this in seclusion.’

That solitude ends today. Gonta suggested to them last week that they both go look for bugs, and being the softie they are for Gonta - and Gonta solely - they accepted this request with no hesitation. 

As they get out of bed just thirty minutes before the scheduled bug hunt, they have to pause for a moment, pain creeping through their joints. Even after sleeping - what was it? 9… 10…? - eleven hours, Kiyo is still exhausted. 

But a promise is a promise, and they promised Gonta they would look for bugs today. Despite not being all too fond of creepies and crawlies, they feel as though they owe this to Gonta, who has been so good to them, and patient. Not to mention, they’ve had to cancel plans with Gonta far too many times already.

‘You owe this to him,’ Kiyo thinks to themself. With that, they muster the energy to put on a fresh outfit and spray some dry shampoo into their hair. Thank the heavens for dry shampoo. 

Just on time, thirty minutes later, there’s a heavy yet gentle knock on Kiyo’s door, and a familiar voice calls from the other side, “Kiyo? Is Kiyo ready to find bugs with Gonta?”

Despite the pain, the anthropologist’s lips turn up beneath their mask. Their day just got a bit better. They twist the knob on the door to see Gonta’s gleaming smile when it opens. 

“Hello, Kiyo. Gonta is very glad to see Kiyo! How is Kiyo feeling?” He asks, and Kiyo walks out of their room, giving Gonta a smile through their eyes. 

“I am feeling alright, thank you,” They lie, knowing very well that they feel ill and pained. It would be a shame to dampen Gonta’s good mood. “How are you?”

Gonta twirls his bug net delicately. “Hmm… Gonta is good, excited to have fun with Kiyo.” 

“Oh, that’s wonderful, I’m rather glad.”

Side by side, Gonta and Korekiyo trek to the courtyard where Gonta often seeks bugs. This is, of course, done at Korekiyo’s pace, but Gonta holds no complaints. 

Korekiyo finds this a bit confusing, though. Why doesn’t Gonta ask them to hurry? Kiyo is only slowing him down, they’re just taking more time to get to the bugs that await Gonta outside. A pit of tension boils in Korekiyo’s stomach, worried that Gonta will get sick of waiting for them all the time. 

But when Gonta opens the courtyard door and shields Kiyo’s eyes from the sun, that tension eases a bit. “Here, Gonta not want Kiyo to get sudden headache!”

Easing their eyes slowly to the light, Kiyo thanks Gonta, then allows the entomologist to escort them toward whatever direction it is that he thinks will have the most bugs. 

It’s warm out. Not uncomfortably warm, or the type of warmth that makes you sweat in odd places, but the kind of warm one could fall asleep to. It’s a nice warmth, fitting for a nice day with Gonta. 

The two of them have gone seeking for bugs before, but today Gonta has chosen a flat area near some trees, bushes, and rocks, excellent for beetles, spiders, and true bugs. 

“Here, Kiyo can follow Gonta, or sit by rock or tree,” Gonta tells them, and they nod. The tree seems like the most convenient choice. 

The tree in which Kiyo sits beneath is fully blossoming, giving the breeze and air an aroma of fresh floras. “Ah, how fortunate. The Japanese Tree Blossom, this is quite a large one, too,” Kiyo points out to Gonta, who is ecstatic about the rich ivory blossoms that hang to his shoulders.

A songbird chirps from above, likely attracted by the very tree Kiyo sits below. 

“Let Gonta know if Kiyo needs anything?” Gonta requests, and Kiyo simply responds with an ‘Mh,’ which is more than enough to let Gonta know that they will. 

Watching Gonta look for bugs is always more than amusing. For such a tall man, he surely does know how to find the tiniest of insects, even if it’s simply in order to avoid stepping on one. 

From the first glance, Gonta does not appear to be so gentle or loving, but Korekiyo knows Gonta well enough to understand that he’s just as tender as any other gentleman. 

Kiyo watches Gonta carefully lean down to capture a small bug - one that Kiyo cannot identify from such a distance. Gonta sets the bug into the portable terrarium he often uses when catching bugs. 

In the comfortable heat of the early summer, Kiyo feels themself become tired. Pain swells through their joints. Their eyelids threaten to close, and though they feel guilty in the back of their mind for falling asleep on their day out, it simply cannot be helped. 

A gentle, yet strong hand against their forehead shakes Kiyo to a wake. Though startled, they soon recognize the friendly face that is Gonta Gokuhara in front of them 

“Is Kiyo sick?” He asks, a worried frown and creased brow deepening onto his face.

The truth is, more often than not, Kiyo is ill. Pain, just about everywhere at some point or another, and tired. So, so tired. 

At any point throughout the day, and honestly, at most points throughout the day, Kiyo is absolutely exhausted. This results in lots of naps. Yet, even after hours upon hours of sleeping, there is no rested satisfaction. 

Each day seems to be more and more unbearable. 

“Just tired, that is all. Thank you, Gonta,” They say, attempting their best to make the words sound right, loud enough, despite their grogginess.

After waking up, Korekiyo is usually in a bit of a hazy fit. This would be difficult for Gonta, Kiyo thinks, so it is best to just smile and bear through it as best as they can.

“If Kiyo is tired, Gonta should take Kiyo to room for sleep.” 

A pang of guilt hits Kiyo right in the chest. All at once, they feel the warm air, the songbirds singing, the blossoming tree, the soft grass. They just ruined this wonderful day for Gonta, didn’t they?

Kiyo tries to get up on their own, but this just results in their legs giving out. Their legs had gone numb, and they didn’t even realize. 

Of course, being the gentleman he is, Gonta reaches out to help Kiyo. “Oh, Gonta will help Kiyo up.” Gonta gently takes Kiyo’s hands in his own and attempts to lift them up, but this simply results in Kiyo falling down once more, this time with luck, onto Gonta.

“I apologize, it seems my legs have gone numb,” Kiyo mutters as Gonta tries to help him regain his stance, this time all while being held upright by the entomologist.

Gonta shakes his head. “Kiyo should not be sorry! Gonta will just carry Kiyo to their room.”

With that, Gonta gingerly lifts Kiyo up and cradles them in his arms. Though the two of them are both rather tall, Gonta surpasses Kiyo in the height, build, and weight category. It’s no surprise he is capable of carrying Kiyo with ease.

Vision blurry, things start to come in and out for Kiyo. Almost as if they might be falling back asleep. Without thinking, they yawn, and Gonta lets out a small, soft laugh.

The door to Kiyo’s room swings open and they are placed gently back onto the bed. “Uh, does Kiyo want to change clothes?” Gonta asks, but Kiyo has already begun to fall back asleep.

Noticing this, Gonta gives a sad smile. “Okay, Gonta will stay here with Kiyo until they wake up.” 

Korekiyo has no time to even think before they have fallen back asleep entirely. 

They do not remember waking up. All they know is that they have done so, and now is watching Gonta tidy their room, something they have not had the energy to do in a long while.

Gonta notices Kiyo is awake rather quickly, though. 

“Oh! Kiyo is awake!” He hastily makes his way to the side of Korekiyo’s bed with a grin. “Sleep okay?” Gonta asks Kiyo, who stares at him blankly.

It would be rude to lie to Gonta. In all honesty, it’s rare to sleep well, for Kiyo. Each time they wake, they feel unrested and unsatisfied. But then again, they do not want to make Gonta feel bad, or to pity them.

So Kiyo simply shrugs. 

Gonta cocks his head and frowns. “Gonta noticed Kiyo seems ill. Was wondering if Gonta could help?”

More guilt. This was supposed to be Gonta’s day. They’ve ruined it. 

“I’m fine. I believe it is best if you leave me be,” Kiyo tells him, more ice in their voice than they feel okay with. 

Eyebrows raised, Gonta backs away, obviously confused and hurt. “Whatever makes Kiyo feel best.” He makes his way out of the room.

Kiyo simply rolls over in bed to face the wall. Yet another thing they have ruined. They have officially pushed away Gonta, just as they push away everyone else. It is unfair that they have to be like this. This pain, this fatigue, it makes everything so impossible.

As they fall back asleep, they aren’t entirely sure if the tears are coming from the pain or the guilt. 

It’s the faint smell of food that wakes Kiyo up. They did not realize how hungry they were until now. It smells rather alright, maybe it was prepared by Kirumi?

Ah, but Kiyo will stay in their room anyway. They do not want to dampen everyone’s good mood around the seemingly wonderful food Kirumi has prepared. She always does such a marvelous job.

The creak of the door to their room is what sparks Kiyo’s attention, enough to get them to roll over in bed to see who has entered. Maybe Kokichi, to mock them for their harsh words to Gonta.

But it is instead the giant himself, a tray in hand and smile on the face.

What is with him and caring so immensely about Korekiyo? He sets the tray down on Kiyo’s bedside table. “Gonta is back, going to help Kiyo feel better.”

“Go away, Gonta.” The words slip out, daggers. Immediately they regret speaking. ‘Don’t go,’ They wish to say instead, and yet they can’t find the courage.

It is as though Gonta wears a steel vest. All of the shards of hate thrown at him by Kiyo have simply shattered, no damage dealt.

“Kiyo is silly. Why would Gonta leave? Kiyo needs to feel good again!” Gonta chuckles, flashing the truest smile Kiyo had ever seen. He’s smart. He knows what is best for Korekiyo and he knows that leaving is not on that list. 

Gonta sets the tray on Kiyo’s lap, who looks up at him in confusion. 

Why doesn’t he leave? All Korekiyo has done is be rude and selfish and cold, yet here he is, bringing them hot food out of pure kindness.

They do not deserve this. 

“Is Kiyo numb? Gonta can feed them.” 

Looking down at the food, they realize they should eat. Gonta did something so nice for them and yet they just sit there, staring? 

But as they go to reach the spoon, there’s a jolt of pain through their body. In all honesty, they could bear through it, but Gonta’s suggestion of feeding it to them is much better. Especially since it is soup, miso specifically, and Kiyo is likely rather shaky. 

They nod at Gonta’s question from before, and Gonta nods, taking the spoon and feeding them.

Kiyo’s mask was already off. They rarely sleep with it on. Gonta is the only one here who has seen them without it, and they prefer it stays that way. 

Gonta is the only one they can trust.

This feels rather silly, humiliating even, being fed like a child. Kiyo wants to hide their face, isolate themself from everyone. This is ridiculous. But Gonta’s soft grin assures them that it’s fine.

He doesn’t mind, so neither do they.

Once done, Gonta takes the tray and sets it aside. “Good! Now Kiyo needs bath.” 

A pit forms in their stomach. They know they need to, and they feel gross having not done so for this long, but it’s tiring. 

“Gonta will help again, if Kiyo wants,” He offers, but Kiyo can only handle so much foolishness and embarrassment today. 

They shake their head. “I am capable of doing it alone, but thank you.”

Korekiyo turns the water knob to the left. Warm, not hot. Water burns are hard to treat, and any shower too steamy makes them tired. It would be a shame to fall asleep in the shower. 

Beads of water trickle down their body, and they watch as the droplets race down their arms. While showering is quite a hassle, it’s a good feeling. Clean. Clean is a good thing, a thing Korekiyo feels rarely.

While examining the drops as they race down their body, they become suddenly aware of everything wrong with this body. What a nightmare. Such a burden to everyone around them. Such a tiresome and painful responsibility to deal with at all hours of the day. 

Their body is nothing but a burden and Kiyo has just been allowing Gonta to carry all of that weight for them. He takes care of them, checks in, feeds them, and what has Kiyo done in return?

Gonta is just blind to the fact that Korekiyo is not worth his time. He just doesn’t see it yet, and when he does, Korekiyo will be alone. 

The shampoo stings their eyes, a reminder to wash it out, and an appreciated distraction from the current train of thoughts. 

Lots of pain. Tired. That’s all they can think about once they’re out and dressed again, this time in new, more comfortable clothes that Gonta laid out for them. 

As they open the door, walking back into their room, Korekiyo leans against the wall for support. Their legs are so weak and they just want to go back to sleep. 

Their bed welcomes them, and Gonta does the same soon after. 

“Oh, Kiyo is back! Gonta is very proud, knows Kiyo is tired.”

A smile creeps onto Kiyo’s face. Proud.

Gonta helps Korekiyo get situated in their bed, giving them plenty of blankets when they began to shiver due to their hair being cold and wet from the shower. They lean up against Gonta’s shoulder, knowing they will fall asleep far too soon if they lie down. 

“Kiyo? Is Kiyo awake?” Gonta asks, and Kiyo mumbles an ‘Mh’ once again. “Gonta brought tea while Kiyo took a shower, if Kiyo want some?”

Tea sounds nice. Korekiyo likes tea, and Gonta knows this. They nod, and sit up on their own while Gonta reaches onto the bedside table and gives it to them. 

Korekiyo was right about being shaky, but after a meal and shower, the tremors aren’t nearly as bad, and they are able to drink the green tea with ease. 

There is an unfamiliar feeling of their hair being… moved? Kiyo looks over at Gonta, who has Kiyo’s hair in this hands, wrapping one over and under the other, three large strands. He’s braiding their hair.

While unfamiliar, it’s nice. 

It’s… too nice. They don’t deserve this kindness. “Gonta, stop.”

Daggers again, but they don’t mean it that way.

“Something not good?”

Kiyo bites their lip from the inside as their eyes start to sting and prick. ‘Don’t cry, Kiyo. You’ll only make him feel worse.’

But they can’t quite stop themself. It just starts with two tears, then three, four, the dams break.

The dams break and there are strong, gentle arms wrapping around them before they can blink. Gonta does not speak, he simply lets Kiyo break down, both of them knowing this was long overdue.

Gonta’s hand rubs circles along Kiyo’s back, and Kiyo falls into his chest, letting Gonta surround him. It’s warm, soothing. 

As they fall asleep, they realize that maybe Gonta wants to help.

When they wake, the feeling of their hair being played with is back. Gonta does not notice they are awake, and Kiyo basks in the feeling of comfort, being cared for, despite being an inconvenience, to have someone who wants to be around them.

For the first time in a while, Korekiyo feels okay with this. There’s this warmth they feel in their heart and maybe, despite the pain, this will be alright. They have Gonta.

“Kiyo is awake!” Gonta whisper-shouts in excitement, and Kiyo gives a soft laugh. “Gonta has been braiding Kiyo’s hair,” He states, as if to let Korekiyo know what is going on, just in case they were confused. 

As he speaks, Gonta uses a ribbon - who knows where it came from - to tie Korekiyo’s hair in place. 

“Thank you, I feel marvelous,” Kiyo tells him, to which Gonta smiles at, a faint yet noticeable blush painting his cheeks. 

“Oh, uh, Gonta is glad. Kiyo has nice hair, Gonta would… like to braid again.”

Korekiyo does not say it, but they would like that too. 

Falling back into Gonta and resting against his chest, Korekiyo decides to let Gonta care about them from now on out. There is comfort in this pain.

**Author's Note:**

> love , your insomniac boyfriend


End file.
